How Many is Too Many?

The other day I was flipping through the channels when I stopped for a few minutes on the TLC show "18 Kids and Counting." I don't normally watch this show but am familiar with the Duggar family and their famous 18 children since they have received a lot of media attention. Andrew paused for a second as he walked by the tv and said "Those people have got to be the most selfish people on earth." I laughed and said something like, "Really? I think they are the EXACT opposite of selfish!" I mean, I imagine someone who has birthed and nurtured 18 children would be quite selfless, but after a little deeper reflection, I understand where Andrew was coming from.

I've been thinking this over in my head for several days now and have been wondering what other people think about this topic. First off, if you've not familar with the Duggar family you can visit their website here: http://duggarfamily.com/ or for a slightly more objective article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duggar_family. Now I don't want to make this all about criticizing this particular family because by all accounts they do seem to be very caring, faithful, people. However, I am going to share a few thoughts about this particular lifestyle and am curious to hear feedback from others.

Let me back up to Andrew's comments. Andrew looks at a lot of things from a more scientific perspective than I do. Right now the world's population is estimated at 6.7 billion people. Humans are reproducing at an alarming rate: in 1939 the population was approximately 2.3 billion (70 years ago, 1/3 the population) with a possible 72 million killed in World War II alone, not to mention other wars, famines, epidemics, etc. (Read more here) While we may not see it in our cozy homes in comfortable suburbs, we have an overpopulation crisis on our hands. If things continue as they are, forty years from now we're looking at a world population of 11 billion people. Wow.

Worldwide issues related to overpopulation include: famine, lack of fresh water, disease, proper healthcare, education, shelter... the list goes on. Here in the U.S. where healthcare is such a hot button issue, the unemployment rate continues to rise, and a college education becomes more and more expensive can we really justify having 18 children? How many is too many?

Andrew tends to be pretty conservative when it comes to answering that question. He says two children is enough for one couple, the exact number to replace the parents. I'm not quite sure where I fall. I definitely don't want 18 kids, but I may want more than 2. Hopefully there will be room for negotiations one day.

The Duggar family is associated with a movement called Quiverfull, where families have as many children as God allows them to have. Here is an explanation taken directly from their website about their decision to have as many children as possible:

"Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar married July 21st, 1984. At that time, they chose to use the birth control pill. They thought, “We don’t want children right now. We can’t afford them. We want children in our timing, when we’re ready.” Four years later they decided to have their first child. Then, Michelle went back on the pill, but she conceived and had a miscarriage. At that point they talked with a Christian medical doctor and read the fine print in the contraceptives package. They found that while taking the pill you can get pregnant and then miscarry. They were grieved! They were Christians! They were pro-life! They realized that their selfish actions had taken the life of their child. They prayed and asked God to forgive them, and to teach them to love children like He loves children. They asked God to bless them with as many children as He saw fit in His timing. Right after that Michelle got pregnant with twins! To date they have been blessed with 17 children, (10 boys and 7 girls) Joshua (& wife Anna), Jana & John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah & Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer (and #18 due in January 2009!). "

Like I mentioned before, I think raising 18 children would require a parent to be selfless and focus on their children rather than themselves. But is wanting 18 children selfish? Can you be selfish in your selflessness? I would be remiss is I didn't mention the Octo-Mom that has also received a lot of attention from the media. Obviously I don't know her personally but I think it's safe to say that she might have a few screws loose. I'm sure she loves her children and wants the best for them in some way, but is she really in a position to support 14 children as a single parent on government assistance? I think in this case wanting to have children (or at least continuing to) was selfish of her.

I understand for couples that have fertility issues that IVF can be a wonderful thing and an answer to many prayers. I can't begin to judge because that is a situation I have never been faced with and pray that I never will be. I understand that many women want the experience of being pregnant, creating life with their spouse and carrying their own child. With IVF of course comes the chance of multiples (again, the famous Gosselin family) but I honestly can say I don't fault families for using IVF, despite the fact that it could result in six babies. Of course there is the ethical issue of whether doctors should allow someone such as the Octo-Mom to have 6 eggs implanted... but I digress. Most couples who are using IVF are hoping for just ONE baby, which is very different from 15 pregnancies producing 18 children. For families such as the Duggars, who can quite obviously reproduce without complications, love children, and want to grow their family, maybe at some point they should consider adoption. I understand wanting to have a large family, and if that is what you want, why not adopt? And in case you were wondering, I asked Andrew his thoughts on families adopting several kids and how many would be "ok": as many as they want, he says.

I'm going to wrap up now because I've said a lot, but I really am curious to hear everyone's thoughts about this. This is quite a switch from my normal posts about painting bathrooms and installing ceiling fans, but I've been thinking about this a lot and wonder what other opinions are out there. Give me your feedback!